yes, i am offended.

oh, it's going to turn 8th next week.

yesterday my husband ask if i'm interested to join bukak puase sponsored by his colleague - buat kat hotel - so i answered why not - it's on our monthyversary anyway - something to be celebrated lah kan (yes, i am cheap. we don't celebrate the monthyversary)

it's going to be the 8th month that i share my whole daily xtvts with - gosok gigi, breakfast, shop for groceries, lepak tepi pantai, sleep, movies, demam, sakit..evry single thing, you name it. & another 4 months we are going to meet that same path that we chose to travel in, yes, in another 4 months i can proudly say that i have been married to him for a year now - and that's when i can legally use the word annyversary (monthy sounds cuter tho..)

and it's going to turn 8th month nextweek,
and i have face with uncounted number of the same question in god-knows multiple version:

dah ade isi ke?
bile nak dapat baby?
u nampak berisi, ade ape-ape ke?
eh, lame tak borak, ade cerite gembire?
bile lagi turn you?
i rase u pregnant kot, banyak makan semacam je ni
kawan kite yang tu dah, yang ni dah, kau bile lagi?
cepat2 ok, anak aku nak kawan
alah sian, anak jiran yang u letak jadi wallpaper, bile nak letak gambar anak sendiri?

& it goes on,
n i believe it will go on forever, until the moment that there is actually a living soul inside my tummy.

i just had a conversation about this with my sister,
i mean, about people asking questions just for the purpose to make you feel small and offended, and for them to feel superior and have a f***ing right to give remarks or directions in how you should lead your life.

i was married at 24 and people don't get the chance to hush-hush asking when will i get married.
but suprisingly, even then, people give me this:-

awalnye kahwin! eh u dah sedia ke ni?

f*** you people.
you selfish *****
you give me that remarks while at the same time turn your head around and asking my 30 year old sister "bile lagi kakak nye ni nak kahwin? adik 2 orang dah kahwin dah.."

just because you have a husband and an endless number of children doesn't mean that people who doesn't is damn f***ing miserable.

do you get my message here?

my mother tought us about ikhlas.

ikhlas dalam bersahabat,
ikhlas dalam mengambil berat.

she don't teach us the opposite.

so let me tell you now.
maybe the reason why it has been a long time since i give a damn about you is because you have offended me - in a way that i never thought you will.

jodoh, ajal, rezqi are things that are out of our control.

feel humble and think back, people..

if you can ask me bile nak dapat anak,

can i pleassssssssse ask you back bile you nak mati?


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keep your feet on the ground while your head's in the cloud

if it's not real you can't hold it in your hands
you can't feel it with your heart
& i won't believe it
but if it's true
you can see it with your eyes
oh, even when in the dark
& that's where i want to be - boring by boring brick

p/s: dik, this is my version of the pix. no german saying wutsoev.. ;)

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